I want to share something today in honour of the Pride Month and as I believe all stories must be told to awaken change.
Violence is everywhere and it can come in many forms. Discrimination is a suitable example, as it is filled with emotional and physical abuse. There were many occasions in my life when i had to deal with harrasment and the emotional scars need healing still long after the (superficial) physical damage has gone.
This February my wife and I got attacked by our neighbour in the mutual hallway of the building. I had just come back from México two days before after being away for two and a half months.
The young man had shown aggressive behaviour towards us and our dog before. He would act very rude towards us with things like slamming the door in front of us when we would arrive at the front door at the same time, and we caught him throwing coins at our dog from his window above when she was playing in the garden.
But here is what happened that day:
My wife and the dog came back from their walk and I opened the door for them, as she didn’t take the keys.
In the hallway my dog was waggling her tail and jumping at me happy to see me. The door that leads to the flat upstairs opened in this moment and the son from upstairs who is in his mid-20s appeared. We looked at each other and I continued to be with the dog wanting to take her into the flat.
I just remember the determined look on his face when he after maybe split seconds started to walk towards us, squeezing himself between the dog and me pushing us with his thigh to the side (there wasn’t any room on that side to pass). I looked at him puzzled asking “What are you doing?” and the next thing I know was that I had a fist in my face.
I was so scuttled and at the same time I was so concerned about my dog the first thing I did was looking out for her in anxiety she would bite him or he would let his aggression out on her. Meanwhile my wife grabbed his arms to hold him back from punching again.
I will try to cut the story short, he exploded as he was in such high rage attacking both of us and when his parents came down it didn’t make it any better really. At one point he accused me I had pushed him when he wanted to leave and twisting the story towards his mother that I was lying when I pointed out what had happened and that nevertheless, he had punched me first first into the face.
At that point my wife had already called the police and was still on the phone when he was outside as his mother had dragged him outside. His stepfather stood in the hallway with me, when the young man in rage jumped back inside starting to attack me again. Back he was, holding my jacket and pulling me, and I wanted to free myself by moving away. Both of his hands were occupied with clinching onto me. My jacket began to rip and he just wouldn’t let go.
I went for his face with my hands and found his eye, pushing it. He lost balance, dropped to the floor, pulling me down and finally let go at the point when my finger was sliding into one of his eyes. My wife and I escaped into our flat, where she had already put our dog. We left the house immediately after reporting to the police and stayed with a friend that night.
We are safe now and no-one got further hurt.
I spared out at this point how the story continued, what it involved underneath and what happened to us emotionally. Why?
What I would like to do with this post is to encourage you to analyse the situation and share your questions, thoughts and ideas. Take a multi layered look.
And then soon on this blog I will reveal some more things beyond the surface, which you should take into consideration when it comes to self defence and violence. But you first!